Don't Quit

I thought of quitting again today.

At Period Three,
when you screamed so loud
the whole school could hear.

I thought of quitting again.

When you asked me
what we’re doing today
after I had explained it
for the third time,

I thought of quitting again.

When you opened your iPad
and started watching footage
of your rugby game,

I thought of quitting again.

The moment you left the room
and never came back—

God knows where you went,
what could have happened
when you climbed over the fence,
disappeared with your friends,
and decided that a little sparring
was “friendly” fighting—

I thought of quitting again.

When I asked you
to stop torturing the electric guitar,
assaulting the drums,
and blasting your music through the loudspeaker,
for we were about to start the class—

but you kept going anyway,

I thought of quitting again.

The moment you pulled your phone
out of your pocket
and started tinkering,
despite the warning—

I thought of quitting again.

I don’t know why.

I have tried kindness.
I have tried patience.
I have tried the look.

But I don’t know why.

They say,
“Just talk to him.
Remind him.
It should work.”

But sometimes, it doesn’t.

So I don’t know why.

“Send him to the duty dean.
Talk to his parents about it.”

And you do.

But somehow,
some days,
you still find yourself
back where you began.

I really don’t know why.

Why I’m still here,
baring myself,
making you laugh
as I entertain you
with this poem.

But yeah, I really don’t know why.

Why, after that heavy feeling
when I left school the day before,
telling myself,

“I’m going to be absent tomorrow,”

I wake up anyway—

because we need to revise
for your external exams.

So, I really don’t know why.

Perhaps it was your long face,
your eyes telling me
you were going through something.

Perhaps it was your posture,
or the way you carried yourself,
that told me
you were terrified of falling.

Or perhaps it was your big laugh,
your “I don’t care” attitude,
telling me that, indeed,
you cared—

but you were too afraid
to admit it.

It probably was your
“Hi, Sir,”
and the sudden smile
when you greeted me outside class.

For a moment,
I saw a different side of you.

Or was it because
you offered to take the devices
back to the resource room?

I don’t know why.

Did you know
I crossed oceans to be here?

I left behind
my mum, my dad,
my brothers and sister,
my friends,
and two little boys
so very dear to me.

And somehow,
I found myself here—

with you.

Don’t quit,
I told myself.

For the work is here,
the need is here,
You are here.

Don’t quit,
I told myself.

Somehow, tomorrow morning,
I know I will walk
through those gates again—

Berating,

berating myself,
yet celebrating,
Celebrating for not quitting.

Some of the Best Things about Niue

The Stunning Views

Diving Sites

Matapa Chasm

Commercial Center

Avaiki

Avaiki

Talava Arch

Avatele

Alofi Wharf

Cultural Activities and the Simplicity of Life 

Photos by: Jopoy Solano
Thank you, Kuya Jops!

Inay

Puso ko’y lumuluha

Habang ika’y minamasdan

Aking binabalikbalikan

Di malilimutang nakaraan

Hahanaphanapin ko, Ina

‘Yong mga hele at kanta

Ngayong ikay lilisan na

Hayaan mong alayan ka

Chorus:

Tulog lang, tulog lang

Ng mahimbing, tulog lang

Damhin ang yakap ko Inay

Maging mapanatag ka na

Sa ‘yong pamamahinga

Nais kong pasalamatan ka

Sa bawat sandaling kapiling ka

Bawat ngiti at hapdi

Ikay laging na sa tabi (chorus)

Coda:

Di ko kayang tiisin

Makita kang nagdurusa

Masakit man sa damdamin

Kailangang tanggapin

Chorus 2:

Tulog lang, tulog lang

Ng mahimbing, tulog lang

Damhin ang yakap ko Inay

Minamahal kita, Inay

Originally composed for the late Nanay Lucy Vaguchay.

May she rest in peace.

A Heart to Heart Talk

Dearest Tuningfork,

I had an intimate talk with my sister today...
She was relating to me some pressing concerns in her life, particularly on being in a relationship.
Well it goes without saying that she was actually aiming at getting some of my thoughts about it.

Honestly, although it feels good to know that my sister trusts me on her secrets and
is eager to hear what I had to say about some personal issues she is going through,
I kind of feel awkward talking about things which I haven't gone through myself.
I feel that I am not the best person to talk to in matters of the heart as of yet.

But I'm the only family she has in this utterly isolated island,
hence, I feel it is my duty as well to hear her out.
Bottom line is, I'm not sure whether or not I gave the best advise
but at some point we arrive at an understanding...

• That all people need to be understood, and that in order for us to understand them, we need to put ourselves in their situation
• That being in a relationship requires greater patience and understanding of the other
• That to love means to give the other person a chance to fly and discover more about life and self
• That societal norms should not dictate our decisions in life -- what matters most is that we love
• That loving is extending God's love to other people. We don't stop loving when a relationship ends... We continue to love and even extend this love to other people we meet in the future.

So these were the things we have come to realize after that long talk.
Some others may not agree with us, but allow me to explain each one of them in my future blogs.

Let me hear from you, Tuningfork.

Heaven Sent

Dearest Tuningfork,

This is just to introduce you to my new HOD this year.

I know this is a bit late, but I'm gonna write it anyway.

Mind you, she is worth the time.

She prefers to be called Suzy.

Sounds bubbly at first but in fact she really is bubbly after all.

She is the coolest woman I've ever met.

God knows how I prayed hard for someone like her to come.

Well, I'm proud to say, "God did answer my prayer."

The photo above I took from Bill's Facebook page.

Bill, by the way, is Niue's paparazzi. 

If you want to learn about who left and entered Niue,

that's where you will find the necessary info -- Bill's fb page.

Honestly, when I first took a look at this photo, I felt nervous.

She seems to look happy and warm though, but still

her white skin reminded me of how hardworking Caucasians can be

and how overly demanding they can be at times. 

Well, let's just say, I was looking at a cover page

 and I have yet to discover how truly caring and sensitive Suzy is.

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about,

I took this photo on my 28th birthday.

She stayed late the day before just to prepare this banner.

Isn't this so thoughtful of her to do?

For a minute there, I thought I was taking a photo of my mom.

Deep inside I was crying...

I wish I had a photo of her at work, 

then I could have shown you how quick and sharp she is.

Mind you, she is so inquisitive. She has all the questions in the world.

I don't know with others, but I liked it when she asked because

then it was easy for me to know what she needed to know.

And that probably explains why she easily got her way around NCEA.

Hehehe...reminds me of my time with Vilisi. It's not easy you know.

It takes real intelligence to work your way through this totally different system.

I must tell you how grounded Suzy is.

She is so professional in her ways.

She never puts her weight around people,

and there was never a time I felt being told...

We've always talked about what's best for the department.

At the moment, Suzy is sharing to me her expertise

on literacy -- the essentials of it.

I am learning so much from her, I tell you.

I'm glad I stayed for another year at NHS.

Anyway, the photo above was taken recently at the Alofi South Show Day.

She is with friends -- one of them is Hilda, the sweet lady from Papua New Guinea.

Hilda, who came to Niue this year with Suzy, is now HOD for Science.

She is another addition to friends whom I consider "the many faces of God in this world."

We are now half-way through the year, and to me that means a lot.

You see, I'm sensing a familiar feeling from last year.

That feeling when my previous HOD decided to leave for a better cause.

I have no idea what Suzy's plans are but for sure,

I'm gonna have to respect those and be happy for her.

Well, I guess I've written a lot.

Thanks for being here, Tuningfork.

Ad Majorem dei Gloriam,

Jake